Academics are, of course, the priority in our lives as proud Lord Jeffs, but sex should be important, too. Sex, dating, relationships and hooking up are all amazing and deserve more credit on campus — or rather, more attention.
We’re young and in college. This is the time to bask in our youths, explore new ideas, places and objects. What better way to do this than with another person? Not to say that a large number of us aren’t involved with anyone in any romantic way, but I’ve noticed during my time here that many students are more awkward when it comes to relationships than students on other college campuses. The Facebook group “Amherst College Memes” highlighted the fact that most students don’t even look each other in the eye! If we are so awkward that we do not even acknowledge each other’s presence, how are we supposed to not go to bed alone to dry, cold sheets?
At Amherst, we’ve been taught to have open minds and have debates on any subject, so let’s not be afraid to discuss sex. In short, let’s turn up the heat between the sheets and get the sex rehab going. I’m aware that engaging in sexual activities is a very private matter, but there is a reason why shows like “Sex and the City” are so popular and why other colleges have sex columns — Harvard’s “Sex and the Ivy” and my friend’s piece at UPenn titled the “Screwtinizer” being notable examples. So why should Amherst be behind any of them?
We’re curious, and many of us are naïve. We’re burning with everything from desire and curiosity to concern and moral dilemmas when it comes to sex, and it’s undoubtedly an important part of our lives. What defines “good” sex? Are your partner’s genitals in order? What’s the best condom or dental dam? Are you ready for the one night-stand? Do you know how to respect your partner’s choices? Are you keeping up with the not-so-sexy job of getting tested for STD’s? Who’s room to use … or which location on campus?
My first piece is how to keep it spicy after Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re single (and ready to mingle), a hopeless romantic, hooking up, madly in love or just plain dating, Valentine’s Day should not be the only excuse for having a wild time. Some of us might have gotten flowers from BSU, chocolate in heart-shaped boxes or a ridiculously large teddy bear too embarrassing to take to class. To those who didn’t receive any gifts, not to worry: Noho has a great sensuality shop called Oh My! (though let’s save the self-pleasure talk for another piece). Of course, for those who are happily single and enjoying their life and their self-improvement process, I am honestly happy for you, though I have no idea what you’re doing reading this article.
My hope is that whomever received a gift realizes that this person eagerly wants you to know they desire YOU, in some way. Wouldn’t you want to return the favor, somehow? No, not just on Valentine’s Day. I’m talking about after February 14th fades and passes by. I mentioned before that we, as Amherst students, don’t talk or hold sex to any standard. We shouldn’t have to wait for an entire week for a TAP, random hill party or excessively-crowded Social where you stand on a staircase for 45 minutes just to the feel the weight of another person on you to show our appreciation. If you have someone you care enough about to spend time with, get to know them outside those drunken episodes. Drunk sex is great — but sober sex is intoxicating.
To keep it kinky, try these during the week and you won’t be disappointed. Suggestions: We’re all stressed with our academic lives and a nice massage from your partner with a movie in the background will definitely relieve each other from some stress. Key point: blind fold whoever is receiving the massage so their sense of touch will be more in tune to the hands that are exploring his or her body. Attempt your own personal strip tease. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel amazing that you’d love to rip your clothes off to. Bedroom + favorite artist on iPod — your own naked ballroom dance floor. Practice your dance moves in the sexiest way possible- thank the Tango and Salsa classes later. Or try to get off-campus! NoHo, aside from the sensuality shop, has a number of unique shops and restaurants that the town of Amherst doesn’t provide for you. Go to a Five College event. There is a Five College Outdoor Festival at Hampshire College on Feb. 25 with rock climbing, kayaking in the pool and a number of outdoor recreation activities. Take a hike on the Holyoke Range – the views are breathtaking, and allow you to see the entire Pioneer Valley. If all the traveling has left you sweaty and dirty, have a nice shower after with your partner. Remember, keeping things exciting doesn’t always mean dinner and a movie on Saturday nights. Instead of studying with your friends in Frost A-level study room for the night, got to Rao’s with your person of interest and treat yourself after to some sweets at Captain Candy; your mouths will thank each other after. (Of course, don’t apply the dating portion of this advice to someone who is a solely a hook up.)
My main point is that we are so young and full of energy; we shouldn’t be exhausted in any relationship we have with another person. Not that we should always be on an adrenaline rush, but just don’t let your relationships go. Honestly, if your most exciting day with another person is on Valentine’s Day — the other 364 (365 this year) days of the year must be excessively boring. I understand that romantic relationships of any kind are quite challenging, especially at Amherst College. I’m sure the majority of us were seen as nerds, bookworms, maybe even dweebs in high school. But we don’t find each other boring and need to move past that immediately if we are going to enjoy our unconventional college time at Amherst and dare I say, “get some.”
Questions, comments, concerns? Suggestions for future articles? Email me at AmherstAfterglow@gmail.com.