This past Sunday, Jimmy Kimmel hosted the Academy Awards for the second year in a row. By all accounts, he did a very solid job. However, it was obviously a fairly safe pick for ABC. I hope that in the future, the producers pick some more exciting, perhaps less established hosts. I’ve decided to try and think of who I’d like to see hosting the awards. Like my column about late-night hosts, these choices are mostly very unrealistic, but I don’t care. Below are my top five picks, in no particular order:

1. Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele

This week, I’ve decided to try something new. Normally, my column focuses on one issue (and perhaps a small discussion of its broader context). However, as the title suggests, this week I will instead briefly share my opinions (whether positive or negative) on ten things (of varying degrees of importance and relevance). This structure is inspired (read: pretty much stolen) from the brilliant ESPN basketball writer Zach Lowe. I chose it for a few reasons. One; it is a cool, potentially eye-catching style choice.

In May 2016, I saw Louis C.K. perform live for the second time in my life. But this article is not about Louis C.K. No, this article is about the comic who opened for him: Michelle Wolf.

My sister is a junior in high school, which means that this spring, she has begun the “College Process.” She’s been visiting many schools around the country and beginning to think about which ones she wants to apply to next fall. This process should be one of excitement, and to a degree, it is. Seeing a variety of college campuses is very fun, and fantasizing about where one will have their mind molded for four years is exhilarating. However, these days it seems that the College Process is a far more stressful experience than it is a positive one.

Before I arrived at Amherst last fall, I had never thought much about improvised comedy. I knew the basics of what it was, and I vaguely knew that many well-known comedians had an improv background. I’d never seen it performed, nor had I really sought it out. However, after I auditioned for Mr. Gad’s House of Improv on a whim and was somehow accepted, improvised comedy has become a huge part of my life. At this point, I am obsessed with improv — and that description could even be putting it lightly.

This is not the column I had planned on writing this week. I had a couple hundred words written about awards shows and their place in American culture, inspired by the wacky Oscars broadcast this past Sunday. Then, early yesterday morning, we all received an email alerting us to the fact that transphobic vandalism had been written on the mirror of a gender-inclusive bathroom in Frost Library. Receiving this email dismayed and horrified me, as I’m sure it did for many fellow students. So, when I sat down to finish my silly awards show article, I realized that I could not.

Phish, a four-piece improvisational rock band hailing from Vermont, is my favorite band of all time. In my dorm room right now, there are no fewer than four Phish-related posters. I have nearly 5,000 Phish recordings in my iTunes library, and I’ve listened to nearly all of them. I’ve also seen the band in concert 37 times. One could say I am obsessed with the band. However, I am not alone in my obsession. Phish is one of the most popular touring acts in the United States. They routinely sell out Madison Square Garden every winter for their New Year’s Eve shows.

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